10 lessons in 10 years
Life lessons from the dining room to the conference room.
I started my first “real” job ten years ago. I was in college, and a friend of mine got me a job running food during graduation weekend at a local French restaurant. I was hooked from the moment I set foot on the dining room floor.
I loved working in restaurants. I can think of few other jobs which provide such an immediate feedback loop between the product and the experience—for better and worse.
I was fortunate to learn from and work with some of the best in the business. At one point, I considered a career in fine dining. My career would eventually take me from the dining room to the conference room, but the lessons I learned from my time as a server set the stage for the lessons I would learn in a career in tech.
Clean the Toilets
The bathroom is often your first and last impression of a restaurant. The best restaurants in the world know this, and they obsess over the details.
"Perfection is lots of little things done well." - Marco Pierre White
Almost no one wants to clean the toilets. Let’s face it—your average restaurant toilet is somewhere between serviceable and hazmat zone. A dirty or otherwise neglected restaurant bathroom can ruin a perfect meal. I decided to take ownership over this part of our guests’ experience and made it my daily routine to clean the toilets.
By taking ownership of the smallest of details, you send a message that no task is beneath you. Chef Thomas Keller is famous for sweeping the floors of his own restaurants. When it comes to how customers experience your work product, the buck stops with you.
“Whatever your life’s work is, do it well.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Take Action: Find a small, thankless task at work and give it your best. Doing this consistently will get noticed.
Embrace Discomfort
Service industry jobs are inherently uncomfortable. The work is fast-paced, stressful, and emotionally charged, especially in fine dining. Expectations are sky-high.
The mark of an experienced server is how well they perform under pressure. I learned this lesson the hard way.
One night, a man and his wife came in for dinner. Almost everything went wrong—the wine was off, their steak was undercooked, its replacement was overcooked. I was a fairly new server, and I followed my instincts to make myself scarce. I was the throat to choke, and I assumed the less they saw of me the better.
My manager noticed what was happening and quickly set me straight. When things start to go sideways, it’s better to run towards a difficult situation than away from it. The same man returned later that week, and I made it my mission to give him the best experience I could. Over time, he became a regular at the restaurant, and I earned his trust.
"You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both."
— Brené Brown
Take Action: Make a list of things you’re avoiding at work. Pick the easiest one to accomplish and get it done. Focus on building early momentum toward accomplishing the rest.
Emotions are Data—Ignore Them at Your Own Peril
When my fiancé and I first met, my most frequent and dreaded response to almost any difficult conversation was, “I don’t know.” Emotions were not my preferred currency. It took me years to discover how building emotional intelligence would help me become not only a better partner, but also a more capable leader.
Emotions are signals. Anxiety, fear, anger, shame—these are early warning signs from the depths of our soul that something is amiss. The best leaders don’t ignore data; they get curious. Over time I learned how to recognize my own emotions, not banish them. Doing this work gave me capacity for understanding my own emotions as well as those of the people close to me—family, friends, and coworkers.
Take Action: Be rigorous in examining your underlying thoughts and emotions. Practice emotional honesty in everyday conversations by avoiding “I don’t know” answers when asked for your opinion. A skilled therapist can help accelerate this work.
Culture is Crafted
A company’s culture can’t be left to chance. Just as faith without works is dead, a company’s cultural values without reinforcing mechanisms become meaningless slogans.
One of Emerson’s core values is safety. While some industries can move fast and break things, we operate differently. We practice regular safety rituals like safety moments before large gatherings and weekly safety reviews. Leaders are expected to demonstrate safety best practices in everything they do.
At a recent customer conference, I found myself in the hall perusing pastries and coffee while setting up for the day. With coffee in hand, I made my way back to the conference room only to trip on the tablecloth. Before I had a chance to catch my balance, our business unit GM was quickly correcting the tablecloth and made sure to point out the hazard to others in the room.
Take Action: Create rituals to reinforce cultural values.
Work Backwards
“We're not competitor obsessed, we're customer obsessed. We start with what the customer needs and we work backwards” - Jeff Bezos
In business, it’s easy to obsess over your competition. We keep tabs on their product roadmaps, the rumor mill, and the latest quarterly reports. Unless you’re the market leader, you can find yourself in a near-constant game of playing catch-up.
Innovation doesn’t come from following the competition; I’ve found the best ideas come from a deep understanding of and empathy with your customers’ needs and pain points. Perhaps no leader has captured this more succinctly than Jeff Bezos. Amazon is famous for its commitment to “working backwards,” where the starting point is a vision of a solution to a well understood customer problem. The challenge then becomes to invert the problem and figure out how to actually build the solution without losing sight of your vision.
Take Action: Not every company operates like Amazon, but the mental model of working backwards is useful for almost any project. Try writing a 6-pager or PR/FAQ for your next project. Even if no one else reads it, it will clarify your own thinking.
Do Your Own Research
Genchi Genbutsu is a Japanese principle that translates to “go and see for yourself.” It was popularized by Toyota as part of its manufacturing ethos, The Toyota Way. It advocates that managers and staff investigate manufacturing issues first hand and meet with customers and partners to understand their perspectives.
"Data is of course important in manufacturing, but I place the greatest emphasis on facts."
— Taiichi Ohno (Father of the Toyota Production System)
Although Genchi Genbutsu was originally conceived for work on the factory floor, its philosophy can be applied to any project. On many of my own projects, I’ve found that asking questions and seeking out first-hand knowledge revealed assumptions that turned out to be false, things we missed, or solutions we hadn’t thought of.
Take action: Think like an owner. Ask yourself, “if this were my business, what questions would I be asking?” Don’t be afraid to ask simple questions at the risk of appearing like you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Bring Your Whole Self to Work
Corporate America gets a bad rap these days. They say a desk job is soulless work, devoid of creativity and emotion. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The truth is, corporate jobs are unrivaled playgrounds for learning and professional growth.
A few years ago, I enrolled in a Toastmasters group at Emerson. As an aspiring product manager, I knew I needed to brush up on my speaking skills. My friends at Toastmasters helped me build the confidence I needed to become a more effective leader.
Take Action: Identify a skill outside your job description that excites you. Seek out others who are doing the kinds of work you want to do and ask how you can get involved.
Focus on the Job You Have
As a product manager, a big part of my job is to live in the future. I’m constantly thinking about new problems to solve and products to launch.
When it comes to your career, it’s easy to fantasize about a better future—your next promotion or the next bump in salary. There’s always a more exciting job on the horizon, but don’t let that distract you. The more energy you spend living in the future, the less energy you have for the work that needs to be done in the present.
“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” — Warren Buffett
One of my biggest goals is to start a business. My job is not disconnected from this goal—every day is an opportunity to learn, meet people, and develop the skills I will need to be a successful entrepreneur.
Take Action: List three skills you need to launch your dream project, and seek opportunities to hone those skills in your current role. Practice showing up today as the future leader you envision.
Presence is Precious
I’ve been fortunate to work for and with deeply engaged and present leaders. Unfortunately, engaged leaders are rare, a casualty of our distracted age. Yet their absence reveals an opportunity: presence as a competitive advantage.
By practicing being present and engaged with all aspects of your work, you can quickly develop a superpower few others possess. People notice when you pick up on small details, ask thoughtful questions, or follow up on a small conversational detail. Your presence will make a lasting impression.
Take Action: Throughout your workday, practice mindful engagement. Minimize distractions by silencing notifications and using focus timers. Practice active listening in your one-on-one conversations, and take notes for follow-up conversations.
Do the Hard Things
Every good thing in my life resulted from pursuing ambitious goals and working through difficult situations. I’ve learned to see life's challenges not as setbacks, but as opportunities in disguise.
"The only way to grow is to embrace the difficulty."— James Clear
Most people choose the easy path in life. The consistent pursuit of hard things yields growth far beyond the comfort zone.
Take Action: Identify a task you’ve been avoiding due to its difficulty—perhaps a tough conversation with a colleague. Weigh the potential benefits against the perceived risks; often, the harder path holds greater rewards than you expect.
What are your most valuable life and career lessons? Share them in the comments!
Thank you to Chris and Summer for reviewing drafts of this newsletter. 🙏
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